


human emotion

by Ive_never_read_fluff



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Confusion, Deceit | Janus Sanders is Bad at Feelings, Dissociation, Drabble, Light Angst, Morally Neutral Deceit | Janus Sanders, Random & Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:22:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27161767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ive_never_read_fluff/pseuds/Ive_never_read_fluff
Summary: Janus sometimes forgets he's human (well, more or less) and that he exists, and that he's real outside of his lies.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 31





	human emotion

**Author's Note:**

> CW: depersonalization, derealization, disassociation (not really but.. to be safe yk) 
> 
> Lmk if there's any more, <33!!!

Embarrassment is a human emotion. 

Human emotion. 

That's- that.. even though Janus knows that he's human (well, a part of one), it still surprises him that yes, he exists, he has a physical form, and he can feel things. 

It's hard for him to remember that he exists outside of his lies, of the world he's created for himself, of the sadness he always seems to be locked in, of the misery of his own misfortunes and wrongdoings, of his own little bubble. 

He knows it, but it still.. shocks him when he has a sudden moment of 'oh shit, that's something people do. i'm real.' because sometimes he knows he dissociates too much, and he's dealt with depersonalization as well as derealization too many times on average to be considered the healthy amount, so it probably should surprise him that the moment he realizes that, yes, he's real, he exists, and other people (sides) do too, throws him for a loop sometimes. 

He knows he's real -no, he really doesn't. nothing's real, dumbass.- he just- has trouble remembering it most times. 

Or, all the time.

Happiness is a human emotion, sadness is a human emotion, being angry is a human emotion, being excited is a human emotion.

Feeling is a human emotion. 

It's natural, it's okay, Janus is allowed to feel all those things.

Janus isn't wrong, or selfish, for feeling things besides what he tells himself too, or what he lies about feeling. 

Sometimes though, it's hard to remember that. 

Janus forgets he exists sometimes, sometimes he thinks every is fake, or is being controlled by someone or something completely out of their power or knowledge. 

He tells himself that he knows everything is real, he is real, he's in control of himself, but really- does he?

He doesn't, honestly, think he does. 

Is there something wrong with him? 

Well, yes, of course, but like, for this specific thing. Can it be cured? Is there anything to cure? 

Does everyone experience that? 

It's strange..

Janus likes those moments, though, when he realizes. 

He's happy in those moments, despite whatever he was feeling before, the realization is a good thing.

At least, to Janus it has been. 

He'll forget he even has those moments whenever he's not directly in one of those moments, but right now he just had one where he realized: embarrassment is a human emotion. He's human, he is real, he exists beyond his lies, the world he created for himself, the misery he wallows in- he's real, and he can feel human emotions.

God, he loves those fucking moments.

**Author's Note:**

> of course i know that animals feel emotions too don't shit on me i just felt like human sounded better okay
> 
> <3!!
> 
> (i'm just now realizing logan would've fit better but i already added the lies part-- rip)


End file.
